An Atheist Explores the Bible Part 243: Jesus gives John a vision. Which just happens to align with John’s political message to the churches (Revelation 1-5)

Revelation 1-5
Jesus gives John a vision. Which just happens to align with John’s political message to the churches.

Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version).

In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.

For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT

For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP

And now:

Revelation 1

“I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty”

It’s been a long old slog, but here I am at the final book at last. I suspect that like Genesis this is one of those books that people think they know the most about but may well turn out to not be like the many artistic interpretations over the years. I’ve not been particularly looking forward to it, with all the prophecies of many-headed beasts, fire, trumpets and all that stuff. But it’s also crazily inventive, like a Heironymous Bosch painting. And who doesn’t love the twisted genius of the third panel to The Garden of Earthly Delights?

First misperception on my behalf, it’s called “Revelation” singular, not “Revelations” plural. The text is, apparently, a prophecy given by Jesus to John, to be passed onto the faithful. John writes to the “seven churches of Asia”, and I’m pretty sure that number seven will crop up again. John writes that he was on the island of Patmos, “in the Spirit”, when he heard a voice behind him declaring to be God and to write down notes to pass onto the churches of Asia.

John then sees a vision of Christ, dressed in white with lots of fiery imagery, holding seven stars, a two-edged sword coming out of His mouth (creepy…) and standing in front of seven candlesticks (see, told you about the sevens). The vision (which in the online version of the KJV I use is written in the red letters of Jesus-speak) explains that the candlesticks represent the seven churches and the stars seven angels.

Revelation 2

“But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.”

Right from the onset it seems pretty clear that this is actually a political document disguised as a revelation. Very sneaky. The vision of Christ delivers messages to the churches of Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamos and Thyatira, delivering warnings, particularly against the Nicolaitans, whoever they may be. My guess would be some alternate sect of Christians but I’ll look them up.

It’s got a good poetry to it, with each section repeating phrases like “I know thy works, and where thou dwellest”, and each time the vision mentions a different one of the attributes given last chapter, e.g. “These things saith he which hath the sharp sword with two edges” and “These things saith the Son of God, who hath his eyes like unto a flame of fire, and his feet are like fine brass”.

The vision warns particularly the Ephesians against the Nicolaitian doctrine, and the Smyrnans against those who claim to be Jews but aren’t, as well as offering comfort to the Pergamons who have suffered martyrdom. For the Thyatirans the vision warns against “thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols”, and promises to “kill her children with death”. There are various warnings throughout about being fooled by Satan.

Now… all this talk of “ruling with a rod of iron”, hating the Nicolaitians, killing children… this doesn’t sound like the new Jesus-style God at all, more like the grumpy old Old Testament one instead. For that reason alone, even if you actually believe in such things, does it seem likely that Christ would actually tell John to do these things? Or is John writing down his own feelings on the matter and attributing them to God? If I was running a church I think I’d find that telling the other ministers under me that “God told me you should do this” would be a good way of maintaining control.

Revelation 3

“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”

The messages to the individual churches continue, to Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea. To Sardis the vision warns that it has not found their works worthy before God, but some who have not “defiled their garments” will be “clothed in white raiment” and their names won’t be blotted from the “book of life”. To Philadelphia the vision warns of those “which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie” who will be made to worship. Is this a dig at Paul’s ministry amongst the Gentiles, perhaps? Is John of the mindset that the teachings of Christ are only for Jews and not non-Jews?

To the Laodeceans the vision warns them not to be “lukewarm” lest they been spewn out of its mouth (that’s what it says). I guess this is an injunction to be passionate about … things, I suppose their belief. There’s a sort of warning about riches as opposed to spirituality, and the continued refrain, almost like a chorus, about “those who have ears” listening to the message.

Revelation 4

“And immediately I was in the spirit: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne.”

John is granted a vision of what we must assume is the throne of God in heaven. God looks like a gemstone surrounded by a rainbow, and the throne is in front of a sea of glass, surrounded by twenty four smaller thrones seating the elders, whoever they may be, and flanked by four creatures with the faces of an ox, lion, man and eagle, six wings each and lots of eyes (much like in Ezekiel).

That’s about it for this chapter, it’s a short descriptive one, and to me those creatures are supposed to sound magnificent but would probably look really stupid if you tried to draw them. They would look really stupid if I tried to draw them.

Revelation 5

“And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a book written within and on the backside, sealed with seven seals.”

Another fairly short chapter, in which John sees a book sealed with seven seals, but “no man in heaven, nor in earth, neither under the earth” is able to open the book, or even to look at it (yet John can).

However, it is announced that the “Lion of the tribe of Juda[h] and the “Root of David” is able to do so, which is evidently meant to be Jesus, but He appears as a lamb with seven horns and seven eyes (to represent the “seven Spirits of God” – possibly the “angels” of the seven churches from before).

Hooray say the four beasts and the twenty four elders and a chorus of angels who suddenly appear, who number “ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands”. That sounds like a really childish figure of speech, John may as well have said “zillions and bajillions”. Let’s see, ten thousand times ten thousand is 10^4x10^4=10^8, or one hundred million. And then some more “thousands and thousands”. Well, it’s just meant to mean “lots” so best not look too closely.

I did like the image of the elders holding “golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of saints”. For some reason it reminded me of the containers full of dreams from Roald Dahl’s BFG.