An Atheist Explores the Bible Part 44: They are The Law! Plus, Bitchin’ Biblical Babes Bust Balls (Judges 1-5)

Judges 1-5

They are The Law! Plus, Bitchin’ Biblical Babes Bust Balls.

Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version).

In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.

For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT

For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP

And now:

Judges 1

“Now after the death of Joshua it came to pass, that the children of Israel asked the LORD, saying, Who shall go up for us against the Canaanites first, to fight against them?”

It would appear that we are back to the clunky style of writing with the book of Judges, as there is a lot of backtracking, repetition and characters popping up out of nowhere. This chapter is kind of a re-hash of the prior conquests, for all that it is said to be set after the death of Joshua – many of the events I’m sure have already been mentioned.

Basically it describes the conquests of the various tribes of Israel, and the lands that they conquer. Most of the tribes end up with Canaanites or Amorites living amongst them. Judah and Simeon lead the battle – the terminology is a little confusing here as they are sometimes referred to as if they were individuals but the intent seems to really mean the tribes of Judah and Simeon. Just a little rhetorical device I guess, and to be honest it’s quite a nice one. Which means at the moment that there are no named leaders amongst the Israelites.

There are a few specific events that are given. There is Caleb giving away his daughter Achsah, and the gift to her of the springs of the land, which I’m sure was in Joshua. There is also an event similar to Rahab in Jericho, where spies from the tribe of Joseph capture a man from the city of Bethel and get him to tell them the cities defences in return for his life. The un-named man founds the city of Luz in the land of the Hittites. Finally, the tribe of Judah have trouble against the plains dwellers of Gaza because of their iron chariots.

Judges 2

“And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, which knew not the LORD, nor yet the works which he had done for Israel.”

An angel appears and rebukes the Israelites for not completely wiping out their enemies and predicts that they will as “thorns in their side”. The narrative then moves on to the next generation of Israelites who, utterly predictably, fall away from the worship of Yahweh and worship Baal and Asthteroth instead, and also begin to lose all that they have conquered, and become “spoiled by spoilers”. Which means becoming slaves and losing their cities, not somebody telling them “Bruce Willis is a ghost” or something.

The next part is a bit confusing because it ebbs and flows; God repents of his anger and sends the judges to “deliver them from the hands of their enemies”, but as soon as a judge dies the people revert back to other gods.

Now, two things strike me about this chapter, as a non-believer. The first is that it is couched, as previous stories, in terms of the Israelites success and failures being how closely they adhere to the covenant and correct worship of Yahweh, but it could equally be that rushing in and taking over the cities and lands of other people is not the same thing as holding them, politically and militarily speaking, so of course things were going to turn against the Israelites. The second thing that comes to mind is that , they’re really not that into you, Yahweh. You keep granting them these victories (but, you know, how many died on the trek from Egypt and the subsequent wars of conquest?), but they just keep worshipping other gods. Maybe it’s time to let go? Maybe Baal and Ishtar have more to offer than endless fighting and barbecued lamb? I think it could be read that God has a very different concept of time and causality compared to a human, so He is looking at the long game from Abraham downwards where a single generation is nothing to Him. Whatever, this theme of constant religious infidelity is becoming tedious.

Thinking later, the other way of looking at this is that it demonstrates God’s faith in His chosen people – He’s kind of like the parent of an addict, angry when they go off the rails yet again but ultimately willing to be there to pick up the pieces time after time.

Judges 3

“And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he judged Israel, and went out to war: and the LORD delivered Chushanrishathaim king of Mesopotamia into his hand; and his hand prevailed against Chushanrishathaim.”

This chapter details some of the trials and tribulations of the Israelites as their fortunes wax and wane. The linking theme is of the foreign kings that oppress them and the leaders who arise to save them.

First up is King Chushanrishathaim of Mesopotamia, who enslaves the Israelites. Othniel, nephew of Caleb, leads the Israelites to victory again and the land is quiet for forty years. Then, as the Israelites fall back to worshipping “Baalim and the groves”, King Eglon of Moab conquers them. Eglon is noted as a fat man, and his defeat comes at the hand of Ehud the Benjaminite. Ehud (who is noted as left-handed), hides a knife under his robes and once he has Eglon alone in his pleasure gardens stabs him (and the dagger is stuck in Eglon’s folds of fat), then locks him in. Eglon’s servants assume that their king doesn’t want to be disturbed, and by the time they enter the king is dead. After this, Ehud leads a military victory over the Moabites and there is peace for another forty years. Finally there is a brief mention of Shamgar who defeats the Philistines.

This chapter is quite a fun one, probably because it has more of a personal element to it (with fun little details like Eglon’s weight).

Judges 4

“And she said, I will surely go with thee: notwithstanding the journey that thou takest shall not be for thine honour; for the LORD shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose, and went with Barak to Kedesh.”

Tough women prevail in this chapter. Shamgar who? The incident mentioned at the end of the last chapter doesn’t get a look in, as King Jabin of Hazor, and his general Sisera, cause trouble for the Israelites with their iron chariots.

In charge this time is Deborah, and her general  Barak. There’s no special mention about a woman being a judge, which is interesting. She just is, which implies that the position is not gender-specific. Deborah goes to war with Balak and his men, and they defeat Sisera’s army.

Sisera escapes and takes refuge amongst the Kenites, who are descended from the father-in-law of Moses and a kind of neutral party. Jael, the wife of Heber, leader of the Kenites, offers to shelter Sisera, gives him some milk to drink and hides him under a mantle. When he falls asleep she nails his head to the floor and hands his body over to Barak. Yes. She nails his head to the floor. And so the Israelites go on to victory over the Canaanites of Hazor.

Judges 5

“Awake, awake, Deborah: awake, awake, utter a song: arise, Barak, and lead thy captivity captive, thou son of Abinoam”

Upon reading this chapter I dubbed it “The Song of Deborah” in my mind, and, sure enough, that’s what it’s known as. Get in! The events of the previous chapter are retold in poetic form, and it’s quite a good bit of dramatic writing. “The stars in their courses fought against Sisera” indeed. The ending verses remind me of sections of the Iliad, where Deborah sings of the mother of Sisera looking out for her son’s return, no knowing that he is dead, and the women sewing. It’s a nice little touch, and also contrasts the more traditional female roles of watching and waiting for the men to return from war with Deborah herself, who rides to battle, and Jael, who kills a general.

I don’t have much else to say about this one, but go and read it for yourself.