Dr Simon Reads...

Dr Simon Reads… 500 Words 2019 Final Hopefully you know the drill by now, how 500 Words is a writing context for children aged 5-13 organised by the BBC, started by Breakfast Radio host Chris Evans (not the Captain America one) and now continued by his successor to the same slot, Zoe Ball, patronised by Camilla Duchess of Cornwall and offering a stack of books, tours of UK landmarks and a personalised illustration by a well-known children’s illustrator to the six winners. If not, see my introductory post here. Check out this year’s fifty finalists here ( http://bbc.in/2pWJLrW ). The winners have been announced, the finals were held at Windsor Castle in June 14 th and broadcast live. Some fun facts about the winners – it was an all-girl final this year; two thirds of the winning stories were comic tales, and I was two-thirds correct in my predictions for the winners. Which were: Age 5-9 Bronze Winner Fragile Freya by Rosa Moody “Freya was a perfectly ordinary little gir...

The Emissaries (al-Mursalat) 1-50 It’s Like A … A Big Yellow Camel. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com The Emissaries (al-Mursalat) 1-25 “By the successive emissaries, by the raging hurricanes, by the sweeping spreaders, by the decisive separators, by the inspirers of remembrance” There is, I must admit, some good poetry in this surah . Possibly the translators have done a better job at turning the Arabic into a more poetic English idiom, I couldn’t say. There are still the strange phrases, such as who or what are the “ sweeping spreaders ” and the “ decisive separators ” mentioned above? The way these are included as part of...

Man (al-Insan) Ginger Beer With Mothballs. MmmMM. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Man (al-Insan) 1-31 “Has there been for man a period of time when he was not anything worthy of mention? ” I can’t tell if that opening verse is rhetorical or not. It sounds like mankind has always been something worthy of mention, presumably because it was created by Allah and is thus good because of that. The surah goes on to say that “ Indeed We created man from the drop of a mixed fluid so that We may test him ”. Never mind the test for a moment – the “mixed fluid” is described in the footnotes as sperm and ova, so here at least the Qur...

Resurrection (al-Qiyamah) 1-40 Bones ‘n’ Woe ™. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Resurrection (al-Qiyamah) 1-20 “I swear by the Day of Resurrection! And I swear by the self-blaming soul! Does man suppose that We shall not put together his bones?” The Day of Resurrection appears to be another term for Judgement Day, when the dead are bought back to life in order to be rewarded or punished, possible for God because He can even assemble your fingertips, apparently. I find the notion of the “ self-blaming soul ” intriguing, it’s a shame it isn’t elaborated on. Of course, a lot depends on how the translation is managed, but i...

Shrouded (al-Muddaththirl) 1-56 The Nineteen Guardians of Saqar (sounds cooler than it is). Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Shrouded (al-Muddaththirl) 1-28 “O you wrapped up in your mantle! Rise up and warn!” Like the previous surah , Enwrapped, this one starts with God addressing the Prophet as one wrapped in a mantle. Last time, because of the emphasis on praying at night, I took this to be a reference to a literal cloak against the cold night, but here it seems to be more metaphorical. Perhaps it was always meant to be both. I think metaphorical because the Prophet is told to “ purify your cloak ” and to avoid “ i...

Enwrapped (al-Muzzammil) The Pray As Much As You Like Scheme. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Enwrapped (al-Muzzammil) 1-20 “O you wrapped up in your mantle! Stand vigil through the night, except a little, a half, or reduce a little from that” This is a really early surah , given as being number three in the order of revelation. It’s largely written as an address by God to the Prophet, giving him instructions and encouragement. The Prophet prays in the night, because as it is given here the night is “ firmer in tread and more upright in respect to speech ” whereas in the day there are “ drawn-out engagements ”, othe...

The Jinn (al-Jinn) The Private Lives of the Fire People. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com The Jinn (al-Jinn) 1-28 “ Say , ‘It has been revealed to me that a team of the jinn listened [to the Qurʾān].’ and they said, “Indeed we heard a wounderful qurʾān” I didn’t notice that spelling mistake at first – a “wounderful” Qur’an. But that’s the website I use, not me, I merely copy and paste quotes directly from it. Oops! Still, the Qur’an’s perfect. In the original Arabic, obviously.  This surah is mostly about the words of the jinn when they discover the truth of the Qur’an, pitched as a thinly veiled message to polythe...

Noah (Nuh) The Potato People, and Cool Pagan Gods. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Noah (Nuh) 1-28 “Indeed We sent Noah to his people, [saying,] ‘Warn your people before a painful punishment overtakes them.’” I thought that perhaps there might be a re-telling of Genesis 6-8 here, but largely any story of the flood and the Ark is brushed over in favour of a yet another discussion on faith. The version of Noah presented here is sent by God to preach to the people and warn them of the flood, but this doesn’t happen in Genesis. In the Biblical version, God simply chooses Noah (the drunken nudist) as being the most (only) mora...

Lofty Stations (al-Ma’arij) 1-44 More Pointless Actions by Allah. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Lofty Stations (al-Ma’arij) 1-22 “An asker asked for a punishment bound to befall —which none can avert from the faithless— from Allah, Lord of the lofty stations.” The “Asker” in the quote above is presumably asking Allah to punish the guilty (or faithless, it seems to be the same). And this surah warns them not to expect an immediate result, because Allah is He to Whom “ a day whose span is fifty thousand years ”. So this at least acknowledges the idea of deep time, and sounds more like the Brahma years. It also suggests t...

The Inevitable (al-Haqqar) 1-52 Allah’s Bondage Dungeon. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com The Inevitable (al-Haqqar) 1-20 “The Besieger! What is the Besieger?! What will show you what is the Besieger?!” The Besieger!!! is al-Haqqar, also translated as The Inevitable. It seems a little odd in this translation to give one meaning for the title and then change it for the first verse. But as I’ve mentioned before, sometimes the translation choices are a little esoteric. Take for example, later on in this chapter where God punishes the faithless - “ He seized them with a terrible seizing ”. This is probably why people say it’s b...

The Pen (al-Qalam) 1-52 I’m Not Crazy; The Voice of God Told Me So. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com The Pen (al-Qalam) 1-20 “ Nūn . By the Pen and what they write: you are not, by your Lord’s blessing, crazy, and yours indeed will be an everlasting reward, and indeed you possess a great character.” There’s one of those random Arabic characters at the start of this chapter, but beyond that this chapter is like the previous couple, where the Prophet uses the Qur’an to reinforce his own arguments. The opening verses here basically say “See? I’m not mad, because God told me so and I’ve written it down.” It goes on “ Yo...