An Atheist Explores the Bible Part 213: Shipwrecks, Snakebites and Dysentry (Acts 26-28)

Acts 26-28
Shipwrecks, Snakebites and Dysentry.

Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version).

In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.

For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT

For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP

And now:

Acts 26

“I think myself happy, king Agrippa, because I shall answer for myself this day before thee touching all the things whereof I am accused of the Jews”

When we last saw Paul he was appealing to progressively higher authorities in the Roman Empire. He was meeting with Festus, the regional governor, who was visited by King Agrippa and Queen Bernice of the Jews.

Here Paul once again recounts the circumstances of his conversion, and also appeals to Agrippa that the idea of resurrection is not a novel idea in the Jewish religion, particularly amongst the Pharisees. I note, however, that Paul has not once in these conversations mentioned anything about “Son of God” or “Messiah”, and I think these were the bone of contention for the religious traditionalists; not so much the idea of resurrection or life after death, but the Jesus was setting himself up as the sole way of getting such a thing.

I had to check with earlier chapters what Paul reports being told by Jesus, because it seemed a lot longer than the original encounter. It is, but Paul is partly paraphrasing what he is later told at the house of Ananias. Some of it still seems new, like Paul is building up his part with each re-telling. I did notice too on his description of his vision, Paul mentions “At midday, O king, I saw in the way a light from heaven” and I thought, well, yes, you’ll get that in midday. But then he goes on “the brightness of the sun, shining round about me”. Oh, well, okay. Maybe it wasn’t just the midday sun, because a bright light in the sky in Syria in the middle of the day – not very miraculous.

Anyway, Festus says loudly that Paul is a bit nuts, but Agrippa seems convinced, mostly (“Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian”. Almost, Paul?) However, Agrippa is happy that Paul has committed no crime but can do nothing because Paul has already appealed to the Emperor.

Acts 27

“And when it was determined that we should sail into Italy, they delivered Paul and certain other prisoners unto one named Julius, a centurion of Augustus' band”

Paul and co. are sent off to Rome in a ship, and there then follows another travelogue of the Mediterranean. After leaving Cyprus the ship, with 276 people on board, is caught in a storm and several hair-raising near-misses occur until finally Paul persuades everyone to have some bread (because they appear to be in a fasting time) and eventually the ship strikes land and falls apart. The Roman in charge, Julius, allows the prisoners to save themselves rather than order them killed to stop them escaping.

And that’s about it. This chapter is fairly lengthy and notable not only for plentiful place names (at this point I’m imagining Indiana Jones –style red lines being drawn on a map for all these travelling chapters), but also liberal use of nautical terms. Whoever wrote this chapter was familiar with ships.

Acts 28

“And they said unto him, We neither received letters out of Judaea concerning thee, neither any of the brethren that came shewed or spake any harm of thee”

The island where Paul and co. are shipwrecked is Melita, and they are looked after by the natives. Paul gets bitten by a snake, which some take at first to be divine judgment on a criminal, but Paul is gangsta and fronts it out, much like Shaun Ryder on I’m a Celebrity (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACaK8jZM374). Later, after healing the chief’s son of dysentry (the bloody flux), Paul and Co. leave in a ship “whose sign was Castor and Pollux”, so either a ship called the “Castor and Pollux”, or “The Heavenly Twins”. I like this little detail note, as also where Paul and Co. meet at the Three Taverns in the Appii Forum.

Not a lot more happens. Although Paul seems to be held under house arrest he doesn’t meet any further Roman officials, only the elders of the Jews in Rome who rather amusingly have never heard of Paul, or, it would seem, Jesus, but after Paul talks with them they are convinced. Paul stays in Rome for two years, preaching.

And that’s it for Acts. I’m guessing that some of what Paul says to the Romans is given in the next chapter ( … Romans). This was an odd book, and I was expecting more variety, maybe more of each of the Apostles. Although it starts with Peter, doing some sub-Jesus healing and teaching, it very soon becomes all about Paul, the annoying upstart who comes in late and takes over everything, having been against it from the start. I will say this for Paul, he seems a tireless worker for preaching the cause, even though he changes a lot of it already (Gentile can join and don’t need to be circumcised, it all seems more about resurrection than the Messianic properties of Jesus Himself). The specific details of places visited is nice, but it does feel sometimes like just a list – “and then we went here and then we went there and then we went to this place”.