An Atheist Explores the Bible Part 175: Perplexed Cows and a Robot Army (Joel 1-3)

Joel 1-3
Perplexed Cows and a Robot Army.

Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version).
In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.

For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT
For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP

And now:

Joel 1
“That which the palmerworm hath left hath the locust eaten; and that which the locust hath left hath the cankerworm eaten; and that which the cankerworm hath left hath the caterpiller eaten.”

Joel, son of Pethuel, receives word of God and calls to his listeners to tell their children and pass it down through the generations. He talks of a time of famine, where the various insects above have eaten the crops, the vines, pomegranate trees, apple trees and fig trees (amongst others) have all withered and dried up. Within this waste the cattle are “perplexed” (nothing worse than a perplexed cow) and there’s a lot of moaning and wearing of sackcloth by the people.

Some thoughts from this – there’s no timeframe for Joel so far, no king’s reign in which to place him. It’s not clear if the famine is a present event or if this is a prophecy, and although it feels like he’s talking about an actual famine, it’s possible that there’s a metaphor here as well, for a “spiritual” famine. Perhaps more will become clear as we go. Finally, Joel gifts the street preacher with the expression “for the day of the LORD is at hand, and as a destruction from the Almighty shall it come”.

Joel 2
“A fire devoureth before them; and behind them a flame burneth: the land is as the garden of Eden before them, and behind them a desolate wilderness; yea, and nothing shall escape them.”

There are some wonderfully evocative apocalyptic visions in this chapter; a terrible army of horsemen, but not those horsemen of the apocalypse. This is a great host, that “shall run like mighty men; they shall climb the wall like men of war; and they shall march every one on his ways, and they shall not break their ranks”. Coupled with “when they fall upon the sword, they shall not be wounded” and the general tumult this army is described as creating when they march, they sound more like an army of robots than personifications of the end times. There’s a hint that in fact this means the Assyrians, as they are referred to as “northern”.

There is hope, however, in this grim picture. Joel tells the reader to “rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful”. Those that turn to God will be saved, the terrible army driven off and the land returned to fruitfulness. I like the use of language in this chapter – there’s a lot of listing of details that really gives it some heft and impact. As with a lot of these prophetic passages it can be read as a direct warning – that the Assyrians will come and conquer but faith will save the people – or it can be read as an allegory – the terrible army is symbolic of the fate that awaits the unfaithful, but the faithful get to lead a good life, the plentiful food symbolic of spiritual peace.

Joel 3
“Proclaim ye this among the Gentiles; Prepare war, wake up the mighty men, let all the men of war draw near; let them come up”

This chapter tells of a day of reckoning, upon those who have sold children into slavery to the Greeks, and possibly also child sacrifice amongst the Edomites. All will be gathered in the valley of Jehoshaphat, where they will be judged by God, who will protect the Israelites. Note that here it is the covenant that is the protection, there is no suggestion of redemption for Gentiles, although that does seem rather unfair; if they were excluded, it’s hardly their fault if they worship other gods. There’s mention of beating ploughshares into swords, and the chapter ends on a triumphant note with Zion/Jerusalem reigning supreme over a bountiful land.

And, well, that’s Joel. Short and fiery, he’s very good at descriptions brimming with detail and imagery; I’m surprised he’s not been used more as the basis for religious artworks to be honest. The plagues of insects, the implacable army and the eventual triumph of Jerusalem would make for a nice altarpiece triptych, I think. Perhaps he’s just a bit too Jewish and Zionist for Christian artists?

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