An Atheist Explores the Bible Part 172: Whoredom is evil, unless God tells you to buy a prostitute for some kind of tortuous metaphor (Hosea 1-5)

Hosea 1-5
Whoredom is evil, unless God tells you to buy a prostitute for some kind of tortuous metaphor.

Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version).

In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.

For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT

For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP

And now:

Hosea 1

“The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.”

I’ve not heard of Hosea before, not even as a name (the next few books to come, Joel, Amos and Obadiah, all sound like members of a hillbilly family, but Hosea is evidently not a popular choice).

But his book starts with a roar, with some unfortunately-named children.

Hosea is set in a much earlier time, before the Babylonian invasions, when Jereboam is king of Israel and Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah are kings of Judah. God commands him to take a wife – I presume that He means a gentile with all the “whoredoms” listed above, and not someone who is actually a prostitute. But maybe Hosea is justifiying his choices after the fact?

Hosea marries Gomer and they have several children which God tells him to call them Jezreel, Loruhamah and Loammi respectively. These are evidently puns in the original Hebrew – Lurohamah implies “no mercy” whilst Loammi implies “you’re no longer my people”. There’s no specific meaning given for Jezreel, except that it seems to have something to do with the destruction of Israel (but not Judah), and later on the reconciliation of the Israelites with each other and with God, implying the return from Exile.

Hosea 2

“Lest I strip her naked, and set her as in the day that she was born, and make her as a wilderness, and set her like a dry land, and slay her with thirst.”

Hosea rips off Ezekiel here, or perhaps it’s the other way around given who came before whom. He likens the nation to an unfaithful wife, who suffers the cruel and unusual punishment of being stripped naked and sent out into the wilderness to die; thus bounty will be withdrawn from the nations of Israel (and Judah?) by God for their worship of Baal instead of Yahweh.

A strange passage in the middle; “thou shalt call me Ishi; and shalt call me no more Baali”. Ishi is a new one on me, at first I read this as a version if Ishtar, but of course her worship was as forbidden as the Baalim. I may have to look this up, as with Jezreel, because the chapter ends with the promise of a new age of peace between man and God, when the earth “shall hear Jezreel”.

So far, so like the other prophets, but some intriguing stuff going on with names.

Hosea 3

“Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine.”

Is… is Hosea just using divine inspiration as an excuse for philandering here? He buys this woman for 15 pieces of silver and a homer and a half of barley, and says they will abide together for many days  in an exclusive relationship. This, apparently, represents Israel being without a king, or religious paraphernalia until God returns to them in “the latter days”.

That’s… I don’t know where to begin with that, he’s basically buying the long term services of a prostitute and claiming it as a religious metaphor.

In other news, I looked up “Jezreel”, which translates as “God sows”, and it’s the name of the city (and valley) where Jehu killed Jezebel and Ahab; the intent seems to be God is seeking vengeance for that act, but back in Kings when it was described Jehu was a prophet of God and doing righteous stuff against a cruel ruler and his wicked wife. Which is a very good example of not trusting hearing just one side to a historical story!

Hosea 4

“By swearing, and lying, and killing, and stealing, and committing adultery, they break out, and blood toucheth blood.”

This chapter is more ranting about the terrible sinful nature of everyone and how Israel has fallen from grace and worships idols etc. etc., and at this point I’m heartily sick of it all – yes, we’ve got it now, did we really need yet another prophet harping on the same theme? Of course, if you take the view that all these prophets are speaking the will of God, yes, they are all going to be saying the same thing, but no-one listens to it which makes me wonder why God has such a hard time getting His message across. It’s hard to tell if all the “whoredoms” and “adulteries” are actually a reference to sexual incontinence or if they are meant to be a metaphor for worshipping other gods. Or both. Who knows? And I’m fast losing the ability to care.

Hosea 5

“Hear ye this, O priests; and hearken, ye house of Israel; and give ye ear, O house of the king; for judgment is toward you, because ye have been a snare on Mizpah, and a net spread upon Tabor.”

More of the same kind of thing, although here the Ephraimites are singled out for rebuke, perhaps they were the centre for apostacy, or perhaps Hosea has some kind of personal grudge against them. The book of Hosea is couched in some very fiery poetry, but it feels a little like it’s trying too hard and so losing its voice amidst some muddled language. God here, for example, is likened to both a moth and a lion within a couple of verses. Either is fine, but together it just feels clunky.