Dr Simon Reads...

Dr Simon Reads … BBC 500 Words If you missed it, I suggest reading the 500 Words 2017 post before going any further for way of explanation. The short version is, 500 Words is an annual writing contest set by the BBC for children of 13 and under, with three finalists from each of the two ages categories selected and read out by famous actors. Both the range and quality of stories are generally excellent and worth checking for yourself. Here, I just discuss the winners and point out why you should read them, or even better, listen to the celebrity readings. If you can access the BBC, try this link http://bbc.in/2jCr9e9 The Smoking Pipe by Fergus Gathorne-Hardy Bronze Winner 2016 Age 5-9 “ The river smells different when it’s full or empty. As we approached the Thames, the old brick warehouses looming on either side, we caught the rusty, smudgy scent of low tide. My dad lifted me over the wall to check the coast was clear.” This is an atmospheric piece, a short vignette where...

Numbers 26-30 Into the doldrums, in which the reader finds little to discuss. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.  For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Numbers 26 “ And Zelophehad the son of Hepher had no sons, but daughters: and the names of the daughters of Zelophehad were Mahlah, and Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.” Oh Numbers, you are a book sorely in need of editing. This chapter is yet another census of the tribes of Israel, although it differs slightly from those we’ve had before in that there is mention of those who were swallowed up by the earth for complaining, and of those who didn’t make it through the desert. Just as it seemed like the plot was...

Numbers 21-25 Featuring idol worship that God is okay with; and a pair of comedy villains. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.  For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Numbers 21 “ And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived. There’s an issue with these chapters in Numbers, Leviticus and Exodus so far, in that it’s becoming increasingly evident that the same events are being described in different ways, so the chapters, and books as a whole, are compilations of all these versions. Numbers has been particularly egregious for this. This chapter ...

Numbers 16-20 How do you know he's the chosen one? He's got a flowery stick. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.  For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Numbers 16 “ And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods. ” In this chapter there’s another revolt against Moses by Korah, Dathan and Abiram, from amongst the Levites. They make some fairly reasonable complaints, that Moses is placing himself as a “prince” above the others (which is probably why previous chapters have been at such pains to paint Moses as a humble man, to make this seem less reasonable), and the w...

Numbers 11-15 Everyone's a whinger. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.  For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Numbers 11 “ And when the people complained, it displeased the LORD: and the LORD heard it ; and his anger was kindled; and the fire of the LORD burnt among them, and consumed them that were in the uttermost parts of the camp” Oookaay… No-one comes out of this chapter looking very good, I’m afraid. The Israelites start complaining, and in the quoted passage it’s not obvious what about. Later, they complain about having to eat only manna and not having any meat. They’re a herding people surrounded by sheep and goats, of which they have plenty to offer...

Numbers 6-10 Nazarites, Silver Trumpets and (not) The Village. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.  For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Numbers 6 “ Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When either man or woman shall separate themselves to vow a vow of a Nazarite, to separate themselves unto the LORD” These haven’t been mentioned before, the Nazarites, but they seem to be a particularly holy type of ascetic. They must not eat or drink anything that comes from the grape vine, from wine down to grapes, nor must they cut their hair, or touch anything that is dead. The rest of the chapter is concerned with the specifics of offerings that must be...

Numbers 1-5 More rules, basically. And some numbers. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.  For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Numbers 1 “Take ye the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel, after their families, by the house of their fathers, with the number of their names, every male by their polls;” Two things happen in this chapter. Twelve leaders are appointed to the twelve tribes of Israel, and a census is taken of all the fighting men, with each tribe having somewhere between 40-70 thousand; total 603,550. That’s just men over twenty who can fight, so the total population of the Israelites is going to be at least 4-5 times that, so 2 mill...

Dr Simon Reads… 500 Words As a bit of levity between the Sacred Texts stuff, I thought I’d look at the BBC 500 Words competition, particularly as the 2018 round has just opened. Some background: 500 Words is a writing competition that was set up the BBC Radio 2 Breakfast time host Chris Evans (not to be confused with the Captain America Chris Evans…). Chris is a hyperactive sort who’s always coming up with ideas and following them through; this got him into some trouble back in the 90s as the ideas tended to be based around partying too much and not doing his work, but he’s mellowed out a lot these days. The competition is a creative writing competition open to children aged 5-13 (divided into age categories 5-9 and 10-13). They can submit writing about anything, as long as the piece is no longer than, you guessed it, 500 words. Fifty finalists are selected by volunteer judges, and from these, winners are selected by a panel made up largely of children’s authors, including ove...

Leviticus 26-27 God's side of the contract, and the fine print. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Leviticus 26 “And I will give peace in the land, and ye shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid: and I will rid evil beasts out of the land, neither shall the sword go through your land.” At this point, after all these rules and regulations, you may well be wondering what the Israelites get out of it. And this chapter gives God’s side of the covenant – peace, prosperity and plenty for all. However it rather spoils all this by then threatening “ And if ye walk contrary unto me, and will not hearken unto me; I will bring seven t...