An Atheist Explores the Qur'an Part 32: Keep Off The [Heavenly] Grass and Beware of Humbug. Plus: Why Allah sets up His prophets to fail (The Criterion (Al-Furqan))

The Criterion (Al-Furqan) 1-77
Keep Off The [Heavenly] Grass and Beware of Humbug. Plus: Why Allah sets up His prophets to fail.

Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version).

In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.

For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0

For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com

The Criterion (Al-Furqan) 1-20

“Blessed is He who sent down the Criterion to His servant that he may be a warner to all the nations.”

The Criterion of the title is, of course, the Qur’an itself, and we’ve seen it referred to as the Criterion several times before. I guess it’s meant to be the criterion by which right and wrong are determined or something like that.

The surah starts with some verses addressed to those who don’t believe in the words of the Prophet, who claim him to be a “man bewitched” who can’t be an Apostle of God because he “eats food and walks in the marketplaces” rather than be some kind of supernatural being or blessed with good fortune.

The only answer is to threaten these doubters with a good bit of eternal burning. I don’t really see how this would work – if people scoff at you when you tell them about God, why would they suddenly believe you about Hell? Maybe fear works better as a motivator, I don’t know. I wonder how much effect this really had.

The Criterion 21-40

“The day when they see the angels, there will be no good news for the guilty that day, and they will say, ‘Keep off [from paradise]!’”

That’s the role of angels – telling you to keep off the grass. It’s interesting to me that even the footnotes aren’t sure who the “they” that is saying this refers to – angels, the wrongdoers, another “they”. Considering how often I complain about unclear pronouns in these holy books it amuses me that even the believers find it irksome at times.

These verses mainly deal again with the problems that the Prophet has with getting people to believe him. Apart from much general banter about where people will be headed when God judges them, it’s also given that it’s pretty much par for the course - “That is how for every prophet We assigned an enemy from among the guilty”. So for every prophet or Apostle God sends, He also allocates some kind of arch-nemesis for … reasons. You know, those mysterious God reasons that you aren’t supposed to ask about. Spurring the prophets on to do better, perhaps? Or another attempt to resolve the contradictions of an all-knowing all-powerful deity.

“The faithless say, ‘Why has not the Qurʾān been sent down to him all at once?’”, to which the reply is that it gives time for the listeners to think about the messages. And, perhaps, time for the Prophet to think *up* the messages. But that would be cynical. It’s not a particularly powerful criticism though, especially as many of the passages seem to be in answer to particular matters of faith, so if one accepts the basic premise that these are divinely inspired, perhaps that inspiration was only needed at that particular time. Or there’s the cynical version, of course.

Finally we get some mention of Moses, Aaron, Noah and “ʿĀd and Thamūd, and the inhabitants of Rass”, all times when prophets have utterly failed to convince anyone of impending disaster. Really, thinking about it, it’s not a very good advert if the idea is to blame the Faithless for not listening to the various prophets and apostles. You’d think if the message was a good one, more than just the messengers would be saved. (I suppose in fairness that is the case with Moses and Aaron).

Also of note is a reference that “they must have passed the town on which an evil shower was rained. Have they not seen it?” suggesting that one of these towns is at least based on a real place, perhaps ancient ruins, and I’ve heard it posited that the legend of Sodom and Gomorrah, and Lot’s Wife, are based on salt pillars and rock formations near the Dead Sea. Landscape informs folklore all the time.

The Criterion 41-60

“Do you suppose that most of them listen or apply reason? They are just like cattle; rather they are further astray from the way.”

We begin with some verses that advise the Prophet what to do about people that fail to listen – leave them to their own devices, basically. If they’re not going to listen, that’s because they aren’t going to listen – the astray cattle of the quote given above. To back this up we’re treated to more examples from Nature as evidence of God – night and day, rain, that kind of thing. God seems remarkably sanguine about people not believing. “Had We wished, We would have sent a warner to every town”. But apparently He couldn’t be bothered. Nuh-uh, I could totally convert all of you if I wanted, I just don’t feel like it today.

And here’s a verse likely to cause trouble : “So do not obey the faithless, but wage against them a great jihād with it”. The “it” in question is the Qur’an. The trouble, of course, lies in the ambivalence of the word “jihad” to mean anything from “vigorous theological debate” to “lopping heads off”.

Oh well. On to more Evidence from Nature, and this verse, “It is He who merged the two seas: this one sweet and agreeable, and that one briny and bitter, and between the two He set a barrier and a forbidding hindrance”, reminded me that I’ve seen discussions about Muslims that think that salt water and fresh water don’t mix (they do, but obviously this isn’t instant, so you see visible divisions at river deltas); I wonder if this is where the idea comes from because it doesn’t really say that, as such. The “barrier” could just as easily mean a spit of land or some other actual physical barrier. Or perhaps it’s discussed again later.

And finally, “He, who created the heavens and the earth and whatever is between them in six days”, which I think is the first reference in the Qur’an to the Creation as related in the Bible (I could be wrong).

The Criterion 61-77

“The servants of the All-beneficent are those who walk humbly on the earth, and when the ignorant address them, say, ‘Peace!’”

The surah closes by discussing how “the servants of the All-beneficent” should behave, with lots of verses beginning with “Those who…” and continuing with some kind of behaviour.

And these behaviours are: spending the night praying, asking to be spared from Hell, be moderate in spending (“when spending, are neither wasteful nor tightfisted”), invoke no other gods, not to kill anyone marked by Allah “except with due cause” and to abstain from “fornication”. This, or perhaps all of these, can be wiped away by sincere repentance.

Then we also get “those who do not give false testimony, and when they come upon vain talk, pass by nobly”, for which the footnotes give an alternative rendering of “false testimony” as “‘those who do not participate in humbug.’ That is, those who do not attend music parties or take part in senseless and sinful gatherings and amusements”. I’d have to say that there’s a world of difference between false testimony (i.e. perjury) and going to a gig. I couldn’t pick out which Arabic word is being interpreted that way, because that’s a hell of a range of meanings. I doubt that 7^th century Arabic would actually use the term “humbug” somehow; that strikes me as more of a 19^th century thing.

There are a couple more indicators of the righteous – asking God’s help to “grant us comfort in our spouses and descendents”, before closing off with saying how these people will be rewarded.