Dr Simon Reads...

Acts 1-5 It’s like the end of Age of Ultron where Scarlet Witch, Vision, Falcon and War Machine become the next generation of Avengers. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Acts 1 “And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight.” I wasn’t expecting to see Jesus again, but like a character from Game of Thrones that died in the previous episode coming back to play their own corpse in the next one, He drops in for one final “So long and thanks for all the fish” with the apostles (actually it should be them thanking Him for all the fish, never mind). This chapter is tol...

John 21 The Beloved Disciple and the Christ Myth Examined (a bit). Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: John 21 “Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?” There’s an odd, tacked-on, quality to this chapter. Jesus and the disciples go fishing, and after Jesus tells the disciples which side of the boat to fish, suddenly they catch hundreds of fish. A metaphor, one assumes, for them creating converts. Then they all have another fish and bread supper on the beach, which makes this chapter f...

John 16-20 Doubt and Dan Brown Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: John 16 “ Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.” That opening quote is an interesting one, theologically speaking. It suggests that the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, can’t go to the disciples until Jesus has sacrificed Himself. There’s no explanation as to *why* this should be the case (it’s God, don’t gotta have a reason), but it sort of puts a different slant to the whole concept of Jesus’ sacrifice and the concept of Jesus being the...

John 11-15 Lazarus, Lovers, and the Last Supper. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: John 11 “Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha.” This chapter covers the story of Lazarus. Offhand, without checking back, I *think* Lazarus has been covered before but this seems to me to be the most detailed version (on checking this time, it looks like the Lazarus previously mentioned is a man in a parable). Here, Lazarus is the brother of Mary and Martha, two of Jesus’s followers. Mary is detailed here as being the one who washes Jesus’ feet with her hair, making her in common usage Mary Magd...

John 6-10 Cannibalism and Buddhism, Dysentry and Sophistry. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: John 6 “ Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.” This is a fairly lengthy chapter that skips over several incidents that have been covered in the other gospels. Jesus is teaching, and attracts a large crowd of five thousand people that are then fed with only five loaves and two fish. After this, the disciples sail across the Sea of Galilee in a boat, leaving Jesus behind, but He then walks out across the water to them. The people follow, eventually, after some muddled passages...

John 1-5 Water and Light Metaphors Aplenty. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: John 1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” As I recall, John’s gospel is a very different animal to the preceding three, couched much more in mystical terms, and right at the beginning here we can see that; John moves from the creation of everything, conflating the “ Word of God ” and the “ Light of God ” as concepts that are more than the words “word” and “light” generally mean, straight to John the Baptist. Not for John the Evangelist any nativity scenes; John the Baptist is the important starting point, bein...

Luke 21-24 Pilate and Herod bond over condemning a man to death. How sweet. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Luke 21 “ For all these have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she of her penury hath cast in all the living that she had.” Jesus remains at the temple of Jerusalem and continues His preaching. The bulk of this chapter is given over to one such sermon which I’ll come to in a moment. Before that, there’s the brief interlude of the “ widow’s mite ”, where a poor widow gives a smaller offering than rich men, but as Jesus points out, to her it’s a much bigger portion of her meagre income, making her the bet...

Luke 16-20 The Kingdom of God: Where, How, What? Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Luke 16 “ No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” This chapter contains two parables from Jesus, or, rather, one complete parable and what appears to be the first half of another. And they are as typically opaque as I’ve come to expect from late-period Jesus. In the first, a corrupt steward attempts to make amends by decreasing the debts of those who owe goods to his master, for which he is commended. This makes sens...