Dr Simon Reads...

The Bee (al-Nahl) 1-128 God Invented Clothes. Plus: no sign of Nicholas Cage, or Michael Caine. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com The Bee (al-Nahl) 1-20 “He sends down the angels with the Spirit of His command to whomever He wishes of His servants: ‘Warn [the people] that there is no god except Me; so be wary of Me.’” I must admit that the title ”The Bee” immediately makes me think of the Nicholas Cage remake of The Wicker Man. Not that I’ve ever seen it, nor want to besmirch the honour of the original by watching it, but nevertheless I’ve seen enough memes to know that bees are involved, hysterically. These verses are on...

Hijr (al-Hijr) 1-99 Satan Gets a Job. Plus: It sure rains stones a lot. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Hijr   1-20 ” Leave them to eat and enjoy and to be diverted by longings. Soon they will know.” Not for the first time I find myself wondering why the Qur’an is laid out the way that it is. From what I’ve heard, the surah s are given in order of descending size; this one has more verses than the last, but so far the verses are all shorter, which means that somebody had to arrange them in order of word count, not merely number of verses. Given that compared to the Bible there’s not been an...

Abraham (Ibrahim) 1-52 Don’t Blame Satan, He Warned You He was the Bad Guy. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Abraham 1-20 “We did not send any apostle except with the language of his people, so that he might make [Our messages] clear to them. Then Allah leads astray whomever He wishes, and He guides whomsoever He wishes, and He is the All-mighty, the All-wise.” According to the notes, this chapter concerns Abraham settling Hagar (his concubine) and their son Ishmael in a new land. In the Bible, Hagar and Ishmael were cast out by a jealous Sarah, as I recall, and serve pretty much no further role in the story. Even the desce...

Thunder (al-Ra’d) 1-43 Things Exist, Therefore God. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Thunder 1-20 “The Thunder celebrates His praise, and the angels [too], in awe of Him, and He releases the thunderbolts and strikes with them whomever He wishes. Yet they dispute concerning Allah, though He is great in might” This surah , Thunder, is a short one of only 43 verses, but I’m going to assume, since the surah are arranged in order of length for some reason, that they are long verses. It’s theme to begin with is to list all the various natural wonders of the world and attribute them to Allah – “ It is Allah who raised the heavens...

Joseph (Yusuf) 1-111 No Technicolour Dreamcoats, But The Story Remains The Same. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com Joseph 1-20 “And there came a caravan, and they sent their water-drawer, who let down his bucket. ‘Good news!’ he said. ‘This is a young boy!’” The Joseph in question is the Technicolour Dreamcoat Joseph, so hopefully we’ll be in for some narrative rather than platitudes, and also hopefully it’ll be an odd Chinese Whispers version of the Biblical version with assorted oddities. The section begins with a few verses about how this is a true book, with a verse that sounds almost like “Are you sitting comfortably...

Hud (Hud) 1-123 A Compendium of Prophets; Plus Beware of “The Cry” Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com And now: Hud (Hud) 1-20 “ Alif, Lām, Rā . [This is] a Book, whose signs have been made definitive and the elaborated from One [who is] all-wise, all-aware” This surah is about the prophet Hud (Hood), who comes after Noah and apparently prophesies to the Ad (Aad) people of the pillared city of Iram. Not, as far as I can recall, something from the Bible. I wonder, however, if there’ll actually be much about Hud, or if it will be like the previous surah Yunus (Jonah) which only briefly mentions the title character. The fi...

Jonah (Yunus) 1-109 Spot the Logical Fallacy. Plus One Verse – One Verse! – About Jonah. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com And now: Jonah (Yunus) 1-20 “Indeed in the alternation of night and day, and whatever Allah has created in the heavens and the earth, there are surely signs for a people who are Godwary.” The story of Jonah is a pretty well-known Biblical tale – God wants Jonah to prophesy to Nineveh, Jonah refuses and ends up in a series of scrapes, including famously being swallowed by a “giant fish” as God railroads him back to Nineveh. It’ll be interesting what elements of that, if any, will be found in the Qur’an...

Repentance (al-Tawbah) 1-129 Charity, Hypocrisy, Killing. Not necessarily in that order. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Qur’an version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Qur’an, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post https://bit.ly/2ApLDy0 For the online Qur’an that I use, see here http://al-quran.info and http://quran.com And now: Repentance (al-Tawbah) 1-20 “How shall the polytheists have any [valid] treaty with Allah and His Apostle?! (Barring those with whom you made a treaty at the Holy Mosque; so long as they are steadfast with you, be steadfast with them. Indeed Allah loves the Godwary.)” A picture is emerging here, where the Muslims overcome fellow non-Muslim Arabs, who presumably worship the kind of traditional animism, of jinns etc., here called the polytheists. The polytheists look after sacred places that th...