Dr Simon Reads... BBC 500 Words (2018 Winners) - Children's Writing Contest

I’m taking a break of about a week on the Atheist Explores Sacred Texts series before diving into the New Testament. In the meantime, I noticed that I hadn’t posted the finalists for the 2018 BBC 500 Words contest, despite running through all the entries and offering my predictions. So I’m amending that oversight now.

Dr Simon Reads… 500 Words 2018

The winners have been announced for the 2018 final of BBC 500 Words. Who won? How did my predictions go? How did the celebrity readings go? Read on to find out.

For more information on the 500 Words competition see my post on the 2017 awards; but in brief it’s a creative writing competition run by the BBC for children aged 5-13, who can any kind of story they like, as long as it is within 500 words. Three winners from each of the two age categories (5-9 and 10-13) get their stories read out by a famous actor in a live final, plus win a big stack of books. Since its inception in 2011 it’s grown massively with tens of thousands of entries each year.

In each of these ruminations I look at the winning stories, and the celebrity reading, but I encourage you to also check out the other 48 finalists for each year; the writing on display is often breath-takingly good. (http://bbc.in/2pWJLrW).

Agent Ramsbottom and the Mysterious Fish and Chips by Francesca Wade

Bronze Winner 2018 (Age 5-9)
”Everything was quiet, everything was in order, everything was clean. A row of pressed uniform onesies hung in the station. The smell of eco-friendly washing powder filled the air.”

I kind of predicted this one – it was on my Possible Others list if not the main list. It’s a comic gross-out story where babies police the diet of adults for the good of their health. Agent Ramsbottom is investigating the sale of illicit fish and chips from a manhole, and discovers Doctor Fatberg and his villainous scheme to transform fat-berg material in the sewers into shaped, flavoured and deep fried ersatz fish and chips. It’s a scenario both deliciously horrible and also surreal, told with verve like an action thriller.

This one was read by Dara O’Brien, comedian and TV presenter (Dara’s a large man, and he jokes that perhaps this is why he was chosen to read a story about poor diet). This is better on video than it was on the radio, you get more from Dara’s facial expressions. It’s a shame that he flubs a few words, but overall does a pretty good job. Also nice in the video version is seeing the glee on Francesca’s face as her story Is read out.

Video Version

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p069gzfj

AI by Arthur Edmonds

Bronze Winner 2018 (Age 10-13)
“We lay there, dead still, holding our breath, waiting for the moment to pass. My mother had her hand over my little brother's mouth. We could sense their presence above the floorboards, scouring the kitchen, scouring the area of all movement, all sound, all smell.”

I must admit I overlooked this one, I thought it was a bit derivative of the Terminator films. However, it’s well done, and the actor Jason Isaacs (Lucius Malfoy) really brings to life the inherent tension – both times I’ve heard it now I’ve found myself holding my breath.

The story is simple; a family is hiding under the floor of their house in a dystopian future where robots are killing off humanity. The combination of fear and boredom is really brought to life, as is the tension during robotic searches of the house above. There’s a kind of twist in the end which makes the whole scenario part of a larger whole and hints at more story to come. Definitely one worth listening to.

I thought it interesting, too, that both the Bronze winners came from the new “wild card” entries, so it was definitely worth including.

Video Version

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p069h0q5

The Little Messenger by Fionn Mcann

Silver Winner 2018 (Age 5-9)
“The little brown bird hopped, skipped and jumped across the small silvery garden that cold frost must have breathed on the night before. He fluttered his little wings and puffed out his chest that looked like he was wearing a crimson bib.”

This is another one that I’d put forward as being good, but for some reason it didn’t make my final list. It ought to have done, I think.

It’s a beautiful, simple story of love and loss (there’s got to be at least one in the finals every year). It’s unusual that this one was written by a boy, and it’s also unusually sophisticated and gentle for a typical “boy” story; I think young Fionn might have a promising writing career ahead of him with all the other great Irish writers.

A robin visits every resident of a care home for the elderly, and stops at one window where a little boy is saying goodbye to his grandmother who is going off on what she calls an adventure to the “Great Unknown”. The boy is oblivious to what’s actually going to happen, but the grandmother promises that she’ll send the robin to see him each day as her “little messenger”; the robin’s breast is red because it carries love and hugs.

It’s a very sweetly told story, read with great care by Jim Broadbent. This one caused a storm on Twitter, with a lot of people suddenly finding that they had something in their eye.

Video Version

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p069j2gq

A God Vacancy by Aoife Maddock

Silver Winner 2018 (Age 10-13)
“Actually, you know what? That's a lie. I have not enjoyed my time at Gods and Deities Inc. at all. Would you like to know why? Humans.”

Oops, this is another good one that I overlooked; I think I went for the Messenger of the Gods story instead, but this was a good one. It’s written as a resignation letter from the God of Earth to Gods and Deities Inc., starting out as a polite form letter but then quickly turning into a rant about how awful the humans are to have to work with. In turns comic and biting, this is a fine piece of satire and was probably a lot of fun to write.

Amanda Abbington (whom I remember most as Mrs. Watson from Sherlock, and also for a time Mrs. Martin Freeman as well) reads this. She’s good, but I think she must have been suffering from hay fever because there’s a lot of sniffing. This is one to watch rather than listen to, since again there’s a lot of added physical acting by Amanda (as with Dara), and the sniffing is less obvious.

Video Version

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p069j2cl

The Poo Fairy by Evan Boxall

Gold Winner 2018 (Age 5-9)
“Annabelle was the Poo Fairy. She didn't wear pretty dresses or have a tiara or a wand. Annabelle wore skinny jeans, an old t-shirt and a blue reflective jacket like builders wear. Annabelle's blonde hair was tied in a bun and she hardly ever brushed it. She wore green welly boots, and always tucked her wings in. You wouldn't even know she was a fairy. Instead of a wand Annabelle carried a box of chalk, a load of carrier bags and a poop scoop.”

I’m glad this one won, and not just because it was one of my final predictions. Annabelle the Poo Fairy is not like the other fairies of Fairy Land, with their pink dresses and sparkly wands. She’s all business in boots, scruffy jeans and hi-vis jacket, and her role is to collect dog poo and turn it into fairy dust, thus keeping the streets clean and protecting the health of children. Two other fairies tease Annabelle and lock her in her home as a prank, but as the dog poo piles up in the streets they realise that her job is important and in contrition they help her instead. As well as the amusing scatology, there’s a lovely tale not only of acceptance of difference but also a cautionary tale about cleaning up after your dog, but without being preachy for either respect.

This is read by author, actor and comedian David Walliams (who read Ms RR Hood vs. Mr BB Wolf last year). I can’t think of anyone better suited, since it’s stylistically very like his books – darkly comic stories about outsiders with often unsavoury traits.

Video Version

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p069j2l6

Dancing in the Streets by Sadhbh Inman

Gold Winner 2018 (Age 10-13)
“On a noisy, dusty road, a child's bare brown feet are hardly noticed as she weaves in and out of the traffic, dodging cattle and halting at taxis. She presses her nose against the windows of vehicles carrying crowds of tourists. "Tissues ma'am, tissues sir, only ten rupees for a box". Sita is small for a seven year old, but then seven year olds from the slums in Ahmedabad are often smaller than other children.”

I flagged this one, and it was a tough choice not to put it in my final picks; it’s only that I thought Polaris might have been in the winners instead. This is an excellent bit of writing though.

It tells the story of Sita, a slum girl selling tissues from car to car to tourists in an Indian city. She loves dancing, using the rhythms of the dance to take her through the streets, and what I guess must be a typical time-keeping chant is used as a chorus throughout the story to punctuate it. Her goal is to save enough money to buy a dress for the dancing, but this is cruelly snatched away in the form of a rum-soaked Uncle who makes claim on all her takings.

The writing evokes a different place and culture wonderfully in little turns of phrase and details, like the dusty streets and the dancing chant. I thought from the name that Sadhbh might be of Indian heritage but from the videos, her and her mother are both European but dressed in a kind of bo-ho Asian style; possibly they did so for the occasion but also likely is that they admire Asian culture. Whichever, good knowledge or research of place shines through in the story. The other stylish story-telling touch is the way the last paragraph echoes the first. Reader Shobna Gulati (actress from soap and comedy) pitches it perfectly in the way she reads the same words, first time with hope and second time with sadness. A fine sophisticated piece of writing.

Video Version

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p069j17v

So that’s it for this year. As before I encourage readers to check out the other 44 stories that didn’t win, because there are lots of fine pieces of writing in lots of different styles. Let’s do it all again next year!