Dr Simon Reads...

Tobit 11-14 Whatever Happened To The Dog? Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Apocrypha version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Old Testament Apocrypha, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/3aEJ6Q5 For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Tobit 11 “ Therefore anoint thou his eyes with the gall, and being pricked therewith, he shall rub, and the whiteness shall fall away, and he shall see thee.” The second Chekov’s Gun of the fish guts gets used in this chapter. Tobias returns home, where there is much rejoicing to see him again, and following Raphael’s advice he rubs fish guts into his father’s eyes. All this seems to be, as a cure, is a stimulus to make Tobit rub sleep out of his eyes, because “ when his eyes began to smart, he rubbed them; And the whiteness pilled away from the corne...

Tobit 6-10 The Adventures of A Boy, His Dog, And An Angel Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Apocrypha version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Old Testament Apocrypha, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/3aEJ6Q5 For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Tobit 6 “ And when the young man went down to wash himself, a fish leaped out of the river, and would have devoured him.” Ah, good. We do get the adventures of Raphael and Tobias, a disguised angel and a boy on a journey to collect debt money. When the two get to the Tigris, Tobias is almost eaten by a fish (what kind of fish do they have in the Tigris?) but instead as they say, sometimes the fish eats you, sometimes you eat the fish. Tobias catches the fish and “Azarias” tells him to keep the heart, liver and gall bladder because with...

Tobit 1-5 Blinded by the Shite Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Apocrypha version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Old Testament Apocrypha, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/3aEJ6Q5 For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Tobit 1 “ I Tobit have walked all the days of my life in the ways of truth and justice, and I did many almsdeeds to my brethren, and my nation, who came with me to Nineve, into the land of the Assyrians.” Having come from the clearly written and generally easy reading Esdras, Tobit seems more prolix in his writing, given to grammatical structures that Yoda would find confusing (“ and them gave I at the altar to the priests the children of Aaron ”) and with lots of references to people and places; yes, we’re back to Reverend Lovejoy from the Simpsons – “ The book o...

2 Esdras 11-16 Freaky Allegorical Eagles, Targaryen Prophecies and the Futility of Hell. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Apocrypha version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Old Testament Apocrypha, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/3aEJ6Q5 For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: 2 Esdras 11 “ Then saw I a dream, and, behold, there came up from the sea an eagle, which had twelve feathered wings, and three heads.” Oh joy. Crazy visions of prophecy. You all know how much I just love these. After a fortnight of not eating, Esdras begins to see some really far-out things. A three-headed, twelve winged eagle appears and rules over the earth. She, as the eagle is referred to, drops feathers on the earth which are evidently metaphors for rulers or kingdoms or some other kind of political...

2 Esdras 6-10 Some Fine Apocalyptic Literature. Plus Breast Fruit. Welcome to the next instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Apocrypha version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the Old Testament Apocrypha, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/3aEJ6Q5 For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: 2 Esdras 6 “ As for the other people, which also come of Adam, thou hast said that they are nothing, but be like unto spittle: and hast likened the abundance of them unto a drop that falleth from a vessel.” We left off with the archangel Uriel coming to visit Esdras once again after Esdras has fasted for seven days. I’m not surprised he was having visions. Uriel once again gives a Job-esque spiel about how much God knows compared to mere mortals and, I have to say, I’m really liking the writing in Esdras. I don’t know if it wa...