Dr Simon Reads...

Job 31-35 Eli-who? the Buzite. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Job 31 “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?” I’m thinking at this point that the book of Job is probably better read in one go rather than in blocks as I’m doing, particularly as here I’ve come back into the middle of Job’s soliloquy. But anyway, here he lists a series of things that he could rightfully be punished for, if he had done them, but maintains that he has not. These would seem to include adultery (even in thought, if nothing else) and lack of charity to the needy. I raise an eyebrow at Job’s words that if his heart had been “ d...

Job 26-30 Fat-Based Household Cleaning, and the Veil of Ignorance. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Job 26 “He hath compassed the waters with bounds, until the day and night come to an end.” And so the book of Job continues, and we return in this batch to a short chapter in which Job replies to Bildad. Bildad last chapter stated that God is as far above mankind as mankind is above worms, and thinks of them as much. Job’s reply seems to agree, even though it feels like a rebuttal. He mentions all the ways in which God keeps the vast machinery of the universe working that mankind knows nothing of apart from a few effects. He even preface...

Job 21-25 The wicked go unpunished because … God doesn’t care, apparently. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Job 21 “Wherefore do the wicked live, become old, yea, are mighty in power?” Job contends that, in fact, the wicked do prosper and grow old and their families and possessions increase regardless. However, he then turns it around to say that, in fact, they will be punished in the afterlife, which seems to me to be a bit of a weak excuse but is pretty fundamental to this theology; it helps explain why bad people aren’t always punished in life. If you ever want to silence hecklers with a biblical quote, by the way, the start of th...

Job 16-20 You Should Never Go Full Emo. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Job 16 “God hath delivered me to the ungodly, and turned me over into the hands of the wicked.” We are back with Job, and he continues much as before, here bemoaning that his ill fortune has put him into the hands of his enemies who now take advantage of him; Job continues to wish that he could put his case for innocence to God, as a man might plead before a judge on behalf of his neighbour. Which, surely he can, and is doing. Perhaps the point is that Job has become so sunk in his misery that he can’t see this as an option yet? I continue to be confused. In some w...

Job 11-15 Slippery Feet and a Bellyful of Wind. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Job 11 “Should not the multitude of words be answered? and should a man full of talk be justified?” Zophar the Naamathite replies to Job, starting with “You do talk a lot of rubbish”, more or less. Zophar tells Job that although Job may think himself free from error, God knows any iniquity in a man’s heart, whereas man cannot hope to know God’s thoughts. Zophar suggest to Job that his best course is to offer up penance, even if he doesn’t think himself guilty, as God will pardon those who repent. Job 12 “He that is ready to slip with his feet is as a ...

Job 6-10 The Prose Forecast: Good Poetry, becoming Teenage Poetry Later. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Job 6 “For the arrows of the Almighty are within me, the poison whereof drinketh up my spirit: the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me.” Before I started Job I was expecting the narrative to follow the course of things gradually being stripped away from Job, and him adjusting each time. Actually it seems somewhat different – all the losses happen in the first few chapters and the rest looks like it might be a series of dialogues between Job and his friends concerning the vagaries of fortune. Which could be interest...

Job 1-5 In which God and Satan are the Duke Brothers from Trading Places, and Job is Dan Ackroyd. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Job1 “There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.” Right, here we go with the story of Job, and the moral is put out there right away. Job is a righteous man who prays every day, and even makes offerings on behalf of his sons just in case they may have sinned (which seems surely to take away any responsibility from his sons?). But as Satan points out, Job is also successful, so of course he’s going to praise God, b...

Esther 6-10 Dramatic Irony and Feminine Wiles. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Esther 6 “And it was found written, that Mordecai had told of Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king's chamberlains, the keepers of the door, who sought to lay hand on the king Ahasuerus.” In this chapter, Ahasuerus learns that Mordecai played a major role in thwarting a plot against him, but that he had received no reward for it. Ahasuerus asks Haman how he should reward a man who has done him great service. In a great piece of literary misunderstanding, Haman thinks that Ahasuerus must mean him, so he names a load of honours; rich apparel, the kings hor...

Esther 1-5 Intrigue in the Palace of Ataxerxes. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Esther 1 “But the queen Vashti refused to come at the king's commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him.” For the book of Esther we return to the court of King Ataxerxes (here called Ahasuerus) of Persia, who holds a grand pageant in the third year of his reign, and invites all the princes of his empire to a feast in the palace. Meanwhile, Queen Vashti (we presume she is Ataxerxes’ wife) holds a feast for the women. Although the drinking was done “ according to the law ”, whatever that may mean, Ata...

Nehemiah 11-13 A Big, Beautiful Wall. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Nehemiah 11 “And the rulers of the people dwelt at Jerusalem: the rest of the people also cast lots, to bring one of ten to dwell in Jerusalem the holy city, and nine parts to dwell in other cities.” The people draw lots to decide who gets to live where, although some volunteer to stay in Jerusalem and are praised for it. At times the text still refers to Judah as the land, implying that the kingdoms of Judah and Israel are still estranged, but it also refers to Judah the tribe, so slightly confusing. Otherwise this is another Reverend Lovejoy special, listing ...

Nehemiah 6-10 Very Poor Intimidation Methods. Plus building a den on your house. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Nehemiah 6   “My God, think thou upon Tobiah and Sanballat according to these their works, and on the prophetess Noadiah, and the rest of the prophets, that would have put me in fear.” As work continues on the walls of Jerusalem, Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem continue to try to dissuade Nehemiah, sending him letters implying that they think he intends to set himself up as king and rebel. They also hire a man, Shemaiah, to try to get Nehemiah to shut himself in the temple for fear of assassination, but Nehemiah sees through...

Nehemiah 1-5 Ezra got planning permission, now Nehemiah repairs the walls of Jerusalem. Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version). In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology. For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP And now: Nehemiah 1 “The words of Nehemiah the son of Hachaliah. And it came to pass in the month Chisleu, in the twentieth year, as I was in Shushan the palace,” Firstly, should that not be Chislev for the month? Anyway, this chapter begins with a first person testimony of Nehemiah, who at the end we are told is the king’s cupbearer, who learns from his friend Hanani that many of the Jews have returned to Jerusalem. Nehemiah himself is Jewish, originally from Judah. Nehemiah offers a prayer to God, returning to the covenant w...