An Atheist Explores the Bible Part 66: Too. Many. Kings. Also, Joash invents crowd-sourcing (2 Kings 11-15)

2 Kings 11-15
Too. Many. Kings. Also, Joash invents crowd-sourcing.

Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version).

In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.

For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT

For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP

And now:

2 Kings 11

“And when Athaliah the mother of Ahaziah saw that her son was dead, she arose and destroyed all the seed royal.”

I’m guessing here that by the “seed royal” this refers to other offspring of the king that are not related to Athaliah, not her own children (of whom it appears that Ahaziah was the only one). However, Jehosheba, sister of Ahaziah, steals away her young nephew Joash.

The priest Jehoida sets up a perimeter of guards around the temple, where they anoint and crown Joash (later on called Jehoash – come on KJV! Spelling, please!). Athaliah hears of this but when she comes to the temple she is killed, and the land is ruled by a seven year old boy.

2 Kings 12

“And Jehoash said to the priests, All the money of the dedicated things that is brought into the house of the LORD, even the money of every one that passeth the account, the money that every man is set at, and all the money that cometh into any man's heart to bring into the house of the LORD”

Maybe Jehoash is Joash’s “king” name, rather than some kind of transliteration discrepancy. Anyway, Jehoash orders the priests to spend offering money on repairing the “house”, which could be temple, palace, city walls. Probably all of them. He has to remind them a few times before they actually do this, and Jehoida the priest makes a collection box and money is spent on repairs, which are probably much needed at this point.

Although Jehoash instigates correct Yahweh worship, he doesn’t manage (or perhaps try) to completely remove Baal worship. Our other nuggets from his life are that he offers tribute to Hazael of Syria not to attack Jerusalem, and he is assassinated by his servants, but his son takes over the throne of Judah.

2 Kings 13

“Now Elisha was fallen sick of his sickness whereof he died. And Joash the king of Israel came down unto him, and wept over his face, and said, O my father, my father, the chariot of Israel, and the horsemen thereof.”

This chapter becomes really confusing concerning who is king of where, and when. It covers the Syrian kings Hazael and his successor Benhadad, who continue to fight the Israelites. Meanwhile Jehoahaz, son of Jehu, rules Israel, then dies and it passes to his son Joash (or Jehoash) and then Jeroboam (the Second). But as well as a Joash/Jehoash in Israel, there’s one in Judah too. Further to the confusion the narrative skips back and forth in time, so Joash of Israel/Samari dies and then Elisha is dying, yet Joash of Israel visits him on his sick bed. Gah!

Besides all this, though, the perhaps more important event is the death of Elisha. On his death-bed Elisha tells Joaz to fire an arrow out the window, as symbolism for beating the Syrians, and to hit the ground. Joash does so three times, which means he will beat the Syrians three time (which he does); but Elisha is annoyed because he could have hit the ground more times – if you want him to do that, tell him first!

There’s a final miracle by Elisha, or at least his bones, as their touch brings a man back from the dead.

2 Kings 14

“Then Amaziah sent messengers to Jehoash, the son of Jehoahaz son of Jehu, king of Israel, saying, Come, let us look one another in the face.

More fighting, more noble lineages. Joash of Judah is succeeded by Amaziah. Amaziah kills the conspirators that killed his father, but not their sons, according to Mosaic Law (and common decency, really). He then goes to war with Joash of Israel, but loses, with the Israelites plundering Jerusalem. He is later killed himself by conspirators and replaced with his son Azariah, who does some rebuilding and reclaims coastal lands (one of his deputies in this is called Jonah, who may or may not later be swallowed by a whale, I shall wait and see).

Meanwhile in Israel, Joash is succeeded by Jeroboam who is succeeded by Zachariah. Jeroboam does some fighting against Syria. All the kings fail to get rid of idol worship.

2 Kings 15

“And the LORD smote the king, so that he was a leper unto the day of his death, and dwelt in a several house. And Jotham the king's son was over the house, judging the people of the land.”

This chapter puts me in mind of histories of the Byzantine Empire, so rife is it with brief reigns cut short by assassinations.

First, Judah. Azariah’s rule is mainly uneventful and lasts 52 years, but he is cursed with leprosy and spends most of it shut away. Eventually his son Jotham takes over and rules for sixteen years until eventually war comes from Assyria and Israel. His son Ahaz takes over, at the end of the chapter.

Back in Israel, during Azariah of Judah’s long rule there are some very short-lived kings. Zachariah rules for six months before being assassinated by Shallum, who himself only lasts one month before being killed by Menahem. Menahem does better, ruling ten years and heavily taxing his people to pay tribute to King Pul of Assyria. After Menahem comes Pekahiah (possibly even a peaceful transition), but Pekahiah is assassinated by Pekah, who loses loads of land to the Assyrians before he himself is killed by Hoshea. And there we leave the kings of Israel for now, and a sorry bunch they have been.

Just a note here that these chapters, and many of the preceding, have used various formulae for describing events, and one that crops up continuously compares the kings of Judah, who do right before the Lord apart from getting rid of shrines, and the kings of Israel who do evil in the sight of the Lord, after the fashion of Jeroboam of Nabat. So although both kingdoms are cursed because of their incomplete or incorrect Yahweh worship, Judah slightly has the moral high ground, perhaps why hence fewer assassinations.