An Atheist Explores the Bible Part 58: The civil war is resolved, a city is pulled along on ropes and Absalom is captured by Treebeard (2 Samuel 16-20)

2 Samuel 16-20
The civil war is resolved, a city is pulled along on ropes and Absalom is captured by Treebeard.

Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version).

In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.

For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT

For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP

And now:

2 Samuel 16

“Then said Abishai the son of Zeruiah unto the king, Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head.”

David in exile encounters Ziba, the servant of Mephibosheth (the lame one). I’ve forgotten who he was, I think he was the son of Jonathon. Ziba brings supplies, and there’s some discussion of birthright that I don’t understand. David asks after the son of Ziba’s master, who would be whom? I don’t know, hopefully this will be clarified. It seems like Ziba is asking for lands from David, it really isn’t that clear.

But it doesn’t seem to matter, because then we meet Shimei, son of Gera, of the family of Saul, and he’s like some muttering bum, shouting curses and throwing stones at David. One of David’s lieutenants offers to kill Shimei (and “dead dog” is a great insult), but David replies that compared to having your own son in open revolt against you, one man calling you names is nothing, and Shimei wanders off, still cursing and raising dust. I like him, I hope he returns.

The final segment of this chapter turns to Absalom in Jerusalem. Hushai the Archite appears to have thrown his lot in with Absalom, saying basically I may as well serve the son as the father. Is he being truthful or is it a ruse? It isn’t clear. But we do know that Ahithophel has been sent by David to give Absalom bad advice, and his advice is for Absalom to claim his father’s concubines and make sure that everyone knows. Presumably this is intended to make everyone see Absalom as iniquitous, or again perhaps Ahithophel (and thanks for making me type that out again) is playing both sides.

2 Samuel 17

“For, said Hushai, thou knowest thy father and his men, that they be mighty men, and they be chafed in their minds, as a bear robbed of her whelps in the field: and thy father is a man of war, and will not lodge with the people.”

The writing in this chapter is very disjointed, but the gist seems to be that Ahithophel and Hushai advise Absalom differently, but since both seem to tell him to “go out in force and chase David” their advice doesn’t seem that different after all. But Absalom listens to Hushai, probably because he is more eloquent about it, even advocating tying ropes to a city and pulling it to a river if David is within (reminding me of Annie Proulx’s The Shipping News). Ahithophel later goes home and hangs himself because his advice was ignored – way to over-react, man, but I shall be glad not to have to unpick your name again.

But I guess we get my question of last chapter answered, Hushai is spying for David and sends some messengers to warn David of Absalom’s plans. They are chased by Absalom’s men but hide in a well that gets disguised as a grain table. David is warned, once more people march to battle and the chapter ends with a massively over-detailed description of some people bringing supplies to David.

2 Samuel 18

“And Absalom met the servants of David. And Absalom rode upon a mule, and the mule went under the thick boughs of a great oak, and his head caught hold of the oak, and he was taken up between the heaven and the earth; and the mule that was under him went away.”

The armies of David and Absalom clash. David charges his officers, Joab, Abishai and Ittai the Gittitte, not to harm Absalom. The battle largely takes place in the woods, which “devour more people than the sword”, which I take to mean they run away into the forest but maybe there are ents in there. Anyway, Joab comes upon Absalom who gets comically hoist in a tree as he tries to flee on his ass (his donkey, that is). Joab and his men kill him, in contravention of David’s orders.

There’s some symbolism to him dying between heaven and earth here; being in neither world his soul is left in limbo, essentially, and he doesn’t pollute either with his sin. Joab then tries to cover this up and buries the body under a cairn. There’s some business with messengers. Ahimaaz wants to tell David that Absalom is dead, but Joab sends a man Cushi instead to tell him that all is okay. Ahimaaz says “okay, then I just … want to … run. Anywhere. Not to David, no.” Joab lets him, Ahimaaz overtakes Cushi, but then they give both end up giving rather evasive answers from which David divines that Absalom is dead.

2 Samuel 19

“And Joab came into the house to the king, and said, Thou hast shamed this day the faces of all thy servants, which this day have saved thy life, and the lives of thy sons and of thy daughters, and the lives of thy wives, and the lives of thy concubines;”

David mourns for Absalom until Joab remonstrates with him for grieving for an enemy instead of his own people, so eventually David returns to be proclaimed king. It is the people of Judah rather than Israel who proclaim him the most, and then there follows some reconciliation with enemies, including Shimei, who apologises for shouting and throwing stones, and Mephibosheth who claims that his servant has mis-represented him. David offers a post to Barzillai the Gileadite, who being old, offers the post to Chimhan (his son?) instead. The chapter ends with Judah and Israel squabbling over who claims the king as their own.

2 Samuel 20

“So every man of Israel went up from after David, and followed Sheba the son of Bichri: but the men of Judah clave unto their king, from Jordan even to Jerusalem.”

One trouble follows another. Sheba son of Bichri rebels against David and calls the Israelites to him. David sends Amasa and Joab to defeat Sheba, but on the way Joab kills Amasa for some reason that I seem to have missed. Then Joab and his army chase Sheba to the city of Abel, where they parley with a wise woman and promise safety for the city in exchange for Sheba’s head. This is duly delivered and Joab returns home, rebellion averted. The chapter ends with a reiteration of the membership of David’s advisory circle, suggesting the end of a sequence and return to where we were after David first became king.