An Atheist Explores the Bible Part 71: Don't Touch The Ark! (1 Chronicles 11-15)

1 Chronicles 11-15
Don’t Touch The Ark!


 Welcome to another instalment of An Atheist Explores Sacred Texts (Bible version).
In this series I work my way chapter-by-chapter through the King James Bible, commenting on it from the point of view of the text as literature and mythology.
For more detail, see the introductory post http://bit.ly/2F8f9JT
For the online KJV I use, see here http://bit.ly/2m0zVUP

And now:


 1 Chronicles 11
“Then all Israel gathered themselves to David unto Hebron, saying, Behold, we are thy bone and thy flesh.”

David is anointed king, and takes the city of Jerusalem for himself. I don’t recall from Samuel that David has to fight the current inhabitants, the Jebusites, for the privilege of nicking their city, which doesn’t do him much credit.

The rest of the chapter is a list of his “mighty men”, the three captains Jashobeam, Abishai and Eleazar, and their deeds (generally killing three hundred Philistines), Abishai killing a giant Egyptian with his own spear. There are others outside of the “big three”, the one with the most description is Benaiah, who killed a lion in a pit on a snowy day. Otherwise the rest is a list of names (I see the ill-fated Uriah the Hittite amongst them).

1 Chronicles 12
“Now these are they that came to David to Ziklag, while he yet kept himself close because of Saul the son of Kish: and they were among the mighty men, helpers of the war.”

More numbering of David’s troops, with the bulk of this chapter being a levy of the twelve tribes of Israel and how many fighting men they sent to David’s service. The first half is another list of his captains, this time with the three given in the last chapter just part of the list, with Ismaiah, Ahiezar and eleven captains of the Gadites singled out for particular deeds this time.

1 Chronicles 13
“So David gathered all Israel together, from Shihor of Egypt even unto the entering of Hemath, to bring the ark of God from Kirjathjearim.”

A very short chapter that revisits the removal of the ark from Kirjathjearim in Judah to, one presumes, Jerusalem. En route, one of the cart drivers, Uzza, tries to steady the ark and is killed for his troubles, which both angers and worries David. He names the place Perezuzza, which from the text would imply “place where a breach was made against Uzza”, and leaves the ark with Obededom the Gittite (who surely must be a drummer with an onomatopaeic name) for a few months. I really want to see a meeting between Bakbakkar and Obededom.

1 Chronicles 14
“And David enquired of God, saying, Shall I go up against the Philistines? and wilt thou deliver them into mine hand? And the LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand.”

Another very short chapter that breezes over a few events – first, Hiram, king of Tyre brings cedar wood for David to build “an house”. Then the Philistines stir up trouble twice. David asks God’s advice for fighting them – wins the first time and burns their idols, then wins a second time by waiting for wind in the juniper trees. And that’s about it.

1 Chronicles 15
“Then David said, None ought to carry the ark of God but the Levites: for them hath the LORD chosen to carry the ark of God, and to minister unto him for ever.”

David realises where he went wrong before and why Uzza died – the ark needs to be transported by trained personnel, i.e. ritually purified Levites. He sets up a procession, and most of this chapter is once again a list of names, kind of like the credits for the event. So Heman, Asaph and Ethan can look back at this chapter and feel properly gratified that they are given credit for playing the brass cymbals during the great ark procession. The chapter ends on an incident that was covered in Samuel, where Micah the daughter of Saul (who is one of David’s wives in Samuel, but this is not mentioned here), sees him dancing in the procession and hates him for it. We still don’t know what makes her so angry about his dancing.

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